Santa's Diabetes

Posted: 12/1/2006 - Commentary by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger

Does Santa Claus really have type-2 diabetes? As of this writing, he sure does. Just look at his lifestyle choices: binging on milk and cookies (high in saturated animal fat and refined sugars), living at the North Pole and not getting much sunshine for half the year, making the reindeer do all the work pulling the sleigh, delegating all the chores to the elves... let's face it, Santa needs to overhaul both his diet and exercise program if he hopes to lose that gut and restore normal blood sugar balance.

Of course, some people are concerned that if Santa loses some weight, he won't be so "jolly" anymore. Let me just say that jolli-ness is not synonymous with having a huge belly. You can still be fit and jolly. In fact, I think being fit is far more jolly than being obese. In any case, a boost in fitness will certainly help Santa complete his whirlwind chimney-raiding marathon on Christmas Eve.

That takes some serious stamina. And going down the chimney isn't the hard part... it's getting back UP!

Anyway, as you'll see in subsequent comics, we're pulling together a team of top nutritionists to help Santa overcome his diabetes in time for Christmas. Some additional cartoons will document his progress.